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The lottery ticket

April 19, 2014

By Harrington A Lackey

Bill Wright, a retired World War II veteran and widow from Pigeon, Georgia, stopped at a Shell station to put gas in his car. After filling up the tank, he walked into the store to buy a lottery ticket for ten bucks.What the hell. It can’t hurt even if I lose. My beloved wife wouldn’t have let me spend one dollar for a lottery ticket.
Every night Bill watched the local news to see if the lottery drawing might churn his numbers out of the machine and reveal the lucky numbers for the day.For three weeks-nothing! What did you expect? These damn lotteries are rigged like slot machines!
A few months later, he sat down to watch the news. He picked up his ticket. As the numbers rolled out, he looked eagerly at his ticket. 4-23-7-49-16-5. He checked the numbers against his. They matched in exactly the same order! Bill danced around like a chicken, yelling, “I won! I won!!” He immediately picked up the phone, dialed the station’s phone number and told them he had the winning numbers.
A week later, a picture of a grinning Bill holding a large check for $65 million dollars was printed in all of the Georgia newspapers. However, his picture didn’t escape the attention of his half-witted, greedy son, Bill Wright Jr., nor his six other brothers and sisters. “Dad won the lottery!!” His equally greedy wife, Karen yelled, “He won the lottery… 65 million bucks?!!” They danced and sang so much, they woke up their kids.
Bill Sr. wasted no time putting his money to use. He had always invested his money. He watched CNBC to keep up with the latest market results. When he was ready to invest his money, he called his stock broker, John Schmingle, to place an order. Schmingle knew about the lottery drawing. He was so ecstatic to hear from Bill Sr. that he tried his best to sound professional, guessing that Bill might want to invest some of the lottery money.
“How can I help you, Bill?”
“Hi. John? I want to invest some money.”
“Yes. Bill. We can help you with that!”
“I want to put $65 million dollars in Cacao Corporation stock.”
“Yes! We can certainly do that!” Schmingle said, at the top of his voice. He tried to contain his greedy self.Calm down!”Cacao is a great company,” he lied. “Making lots of great chocolate these days… “When would you like to buy?”
“Right now. Is that a problem?”
“No… no!! I’ll write that order down and get it sent!”
Bill then thanked him and hung up. Schmingle quickly jotted down the order, then jumped up and down.
A month later, Bill was rushed to the hospital where he died from heart complications. Word of his death spread to his family who were secretly thrilled. A few days after the funeral all six siblings and their spouses sat down to hear a lawyer read their father’s final will. All were thrilled that Bill had divided his wealth equally among each of them. The lawyer continued reading from the will, “… and I give to you my investment in… ” Before he could say anymore, a janitor quickly opened the door, walked up to the lawyer, and whispered in his ear.
“Excuse me. I will be back in a moment,” he said to the family. After fifteen minutes, the lawyer looked at the family. He stood up, held his nose and started reading where he left off. “… and I give to you my investment in Caca Corporation.”
All of the families looked at each other. “What is the ‘Caca Corporation’?”
“I’ll show you. Follow me,” the lawyer said.
They went outside and gazed at a lot of people in white biohazard suits who were motioning 35 cement mixers to back up.
“What’s all this?” Bill Jr. yelled. All of the family members held their nose. “What’s that smell??”
“It’s manure,” the lawyer replied holding his nose. “65 million dollars of manure.”
Moral of the story: Don’t trust an exhilarated stock broker who accidentally writes down the wrong name of a product. Sometimes life is a box of chocolates (“cacao”) which can turn into shit (“caca”).

Article Source: /?expert=Harrington_A_Lackey

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