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A Heart For Sale

April 19, 2014

By Ife Odum
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
– Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Back in my university days, a very close friend of mine dated her boyfriend for three years up until we started studying at the Lagos Business School. Shortly afterwards, they got engaged to be married.
Just as they were about to get started on their wedding plans, her fiancé suddenly announced that he had won The American Visa Lottery and would be traveling out of the country to seek greener pastures.
The news was greeted with mixed feelings because that was precisely at a time when the news of girls who lost their boyfriends to other girls abroad was constantly on the headlines and so one didn’t know whether to be particularly happy or sad.
Eventually, her boyfriend travelled out of the country but not without promises to always keep in touch and to come back to take her to live with him.
Communication between both parties flowed steadily but gradually declined and my friend grew increasingly worried by the day until a dreadful email came on that fateful day.
His reason for the break up was simple, he had just landed himself in an unfamiliar environment and needed to focus and adjust to life outside the country without anyone, not even my dear friend breathing down his neck!
My friend’s reaction was in different stages; first, she was in denial; “Oh no! He didn’t do it! But he said he loved me!” (Of course he did!) Followed by a strange quietness, and then she cried a lot for most part of the day, suddenly became hysterical and asked so many rhetorical questions.
She then became talkative and rambled on and on about this and about that. Every discussion was about her boyfriend. Life seemed to revolve around him even after the break up. She would remember the good times they had together and smile and then the smiles would eventually fade into depression. At other times, she rained curses and abuses on him. “Wicked, Evil, Devil, Bastard” were common words that gushed out of her mouth.
Finally, she did everything simultaneously; she would slip into this strange quietness, cry, wail, get hysterical, and become talkative all at the same time. I was so scared for my friend because I thought she was gradually slipping into a state of temporary madness!
My heart went out to her so much that if there was a place where hearts are sold, I’d have gladly bought one to replace the already broken heart causing her so much pain.
This brings me to the question I’ve been mulling over on my mind. Why do people react the way they do after a break up? Sincerely, I do not know. I’m not an expert on these things or on anything at all, not even my writing. But I’m dying to know. If not for anything, but to help those who are in that situation right now. I’d really love to give anything to help soothe the aches of the broken hearted. That is why I’m specially dedicating this post to all heartbroken people all over the world.
If you are experiencing the pain of a heartbreak today? The truth is, the faster you heal and get on with your life, the better for you. For now, it is impossible to find hearts for sale, so here are some useful tips on how you can get over a devastating heartbreak and be happy again.
1. DON’T stop the tears!
Let the tears wash away all the pain you feel deep down on the inside. Cry as much as you can until you have no more tears to shed. Ridiculous as this might sound, you always feel better after a good cry. It sure does help the healing process.
2. TALK about it
Yes, talk about it but not to everyone. We all have special people in our lives that we can confide in. It pays to let all the pain out. Do not box up your feelings. If you do, you might end up feeling worse.
3. WRITE something down
Pick up a pen and a journal and make up a like and dislike list. Write down ten things you like about your spouse and ten things you dislike about him/her. In doing this, if your points on the dislike list far outweighs those on the like list, then you might gradually come to terms as to why the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway.
4. SEEK spiritual help
Pray if you can and do that always. Not necessarily in the conventional way, but talk to God as though He was sitting right in front of you and needed to know all the details of your heartbreak.
… And DARE to love again!
Mending a broken heart is never easy. There is no quick way to stop your heart from hurting so much. Author Henri Nouwen acknowledges the pain experienced during a heart break when he said “when those you love deeply reject you, leave you or die, your heart is bound to get broken but that should not hold you back from loving again”. You must dare to open your heart to new love when it comes your way.
“There is no grief which time does not lessen or soften.”

– Marcus Tulius Cicero
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com /?expert=Ife_Odum

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